Home School Support Network

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These are show notes for the Home School Support Network podcast episode number 5.

Structure and Routine

Does every minute have to be scheduled?
How to recognize which one is best for you. “free spirit & people person?” vs. a “task oriented getter don type person?”
WARNING FLAG – don’t be a slave to your schedule

From Mom’s Notes “Structuring Your Children’s Day” part 1
“Many parents do not see how a routine can help bring peace to a home. Nor do they understand how an effective routine often eliminates need for discipline/correction. Think you don’t need a routine?
“Do you see your children getting into trouble more often each day?”
“Do you feel like a truck has run over you by the time your husband gets home each day?”
“Do you feel trapped being at home with your children?”

 

Why have a schedule or routine?

1. Brings order to my day by helping me manage the priorities I set.

• Keeps me from starting many things only to go from one unfinished task to another without focus or direction-“wandering” then wondering where my time went.
• Set your priorities and plan a time for each priority daily/weekly. Where’s your time with God?
• Keep in mind that unless you yourself have structure in your day, it will not matter how structured your child’s day is because you won’t be able to adhere to their routine either.

 

1. Creates contentment

• Children learn submission, humility, self control with a parent directed day. In contrast, without a routine children have too much authority, choice, and control.
• It is amazing to me how many discipline issues are resolved through the consistent use of routine!
• The child does have choices during the day within boundaries (free time). In short, if you don’t direct the day then THEY WILL and this will rarely lead to peace and an adequate learning enviro. Children don’t run the “classroom” and in homeschooling you are now the parent AND the teacher!

 

1. It helps mom be proactive and fosters peacefulness-a necessity with multiple children.

• Set the senario: 4 boys free playing (loosely monitored) in the early evening hours, mom trying to cook….not good!  Plan what to do with each child and expect some trial and error.
• Carla Link states in “Structuring Your Child’s Day” Part 2   “Kids who live without structure can develop behavior problems. Frequent tantrums, whining, a disregard for rules, inappropriate or aggressive behavior, constant demands, and an inability to share are some of the signs that your child needs more structure.”

HOW DO I START?

1. Prayer Phil 4:6
2. Evaluate for a few days/week and write down your existing routine OR write down things as you do them on the appropriate day. *write down realistically how long each thing takes! Ie “Activity List”

INCLUDE:

• self control training- sitting us a skill that must be trained, it does not come natural!
• Chores training
• Devotion/Bible story time with the kids
• Sibling indiv playtime
• Pack and play time/Room-time
• Outside play/nature walk
• Errands including driving time
• Quiet time with books/Storytime
• Structured playtime (coloring/art, puzzles, toys, etc)
• Free play time at a toy box
• Individual time with each child daily/every other day…15 min, 30 min, or more?

3. Do the same thing for your children’s activities

1. Get your spouse’s input
   1. choose which route you want to go-schedule or routine. Either way, make meals, naps, & bedtimes as fixed as you can. If need be, create a M,W,F and T,Th routine.
   2. Check show notes for samples of schedules & for a blank one to get yourself started. Start with the fixed activities and fill in from your Activities List. If your kids are not used to a routine, start with establishing consistent bed and wake times.

WARNING – *Do NOT try to copy someone else’s schedule!  Instead use it for ideas and as a GUIDE.

THINGS TO CONSIDER

• Remember to leave “catch up time”. If you freq feel like you are rushing from one thing to another then you prob haven’t given yourself enough time for each activity.

 

• Look for the most stressful time of the day- that is where you need more structure!

 

• Have a stop time throughout the day at ___:00 and go to next activity no matter where they are at.

 

• When you homeschool there will be days you don’t get anything done but heart training and that’s ok!

 

• Implement “pieces” of your schedule at a time, either AM or PM

 

• *DON’T CHUCK THE WHOLE SCHEDULE IF YOU GET OFF SOMEWHERE!!* Having a sch/routine helps you jump back in where ever you are at that time. Give example

 

• Parting challenge- Have we engaged our children or overseen them all day?  Take encouragement that a schedule will help with this.

HELPS FOR MOM’S DAY

1. Plan meals in advance!

 

• Create a two week meal plan

 

• Eliminates stress if figuring out what’s for dinner (or freezer meals not being thawed!)
• Saves money and time with less grocery store stops (or fast food purchases)

 

• Learn how to use a crockpot…find recipes.

 

1. Create a rotating chore plan.

 

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These are show notes for the Home School Support Network podcast episode number 4.

How To Homeschool Basics “Basic Training”

• Need to create a foundation before (successful) homeschooling can begin.
• Need to frequently reevaluate/retrain these

We referred to some great material from Todd Wilson from Family Man Ministries and also referred to an HSLDA Home School Court Report article from the Sep/Oct issued by Michael Farris titled 10 Lessons I Learned from 30 Years of Home Schooling.

Keep your expectations in check
HSLDA Article point #4 from Michael Farris

• Learn your husband’s non-negotiable for house cleanliness
• How long do you expect them to sit while receiving instruction/teaching? still vs fidget?
• What will school look like? Do you think mom needs to be standing at an easel or everyone around a table, etc.

HSDLA Article Point #5 Strive for mastery in just two areas (i.e., language and math)

Husbands Need to Help

• Farris talks about this in the article point #7. Protect your wife from over commitment
  –  give your wife permission to throw you under the bus when people ask for help. (i.e. Wife can say, “I’ll have to check with my husband)
  – Don’t be quilted into putting ministry support in front of the needs of your family.
• Make sure your wife gets a break. Mom is also a wife and has friends. Refer to http://daddylife.net/session7 title Mommy is a Wife.
• Dads need to off-load homeschooling academics and/or household upkeep. Do it yourself or hire a house keeper or tutor if you can afford it.
• Husbands need to learn wife’s hot button issues and take care of those first.
• From http://DaddyLife.net/firstthings“I will paraphrase what our good friend Gary Ezzo says in the Preparation for Parentingseries, “You will only be as good of a parent as you are a spouse.”  Dads cannot forget how important their commitment is to the marriage relationship. Mr. Ezzo says in the Fathers Mandate from Chapter 4 of Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, “If you really love your children, if you really love your children then give them the gift of confidence and security. Show them how much you love their mom.”  Parents need to teach their kids what healthy relationships look like and there is no better place to begin than by demonstrating an unconditional love for each other.”There are many ways to demonstrate love towards your wife.  You can certainly tell your wife that you love her, but little kids in particular tend to understand better by seeing than by hearing. So husbands should not wait until the kids are in bed to demonstrate your love toward their wife. Check of DaddyLife.net/session13 for more specific tips for dads in this area.

From the article point #6 we are reminded that Moms need to remember that your marriage is more important than your curriculum

 

• Mom needs some energy left at the end of the day. Review the time and energy it takes to implement your curriculum.

How well do your children Submit to your authority?

First Time Obedience- Immediately, completely, without challenge or complaint

• An example of us obeying God. We are His representatives. Why is the important in homeschooling specifically?
• Not all learning will be “fun” or “easy”-cant spend hours fighting to get things done or you will burn out and put your kid into school

Self Control Training

Purpose: (1) Self control is a base virtue, (2) Helps a child sit, focus, and concentrate longer.

Howto: Practice self control by what we call “sit time” as learned in our parent training. The child sits for a few minutes. (Practicing what you would love to have them do in a bank or doctor’s office) Start with as many minutes as your child can handle and work up from there by increasing the length of time they sit each day to practice.

Training children to do chores

Why: Time with mom learning to do things that will eventually free mom up to do other things. It trains responsibility and they invest into the family and acquire a sense of ownership of the family unit.

How: Have them work along side you until they show enough understanding to be allowed to do the task on their own. Then use a timer to help them stay on task. What Every Child Should Know Along the Way will help parents understand what chores are appropriate for a particular age of child. The book is available in the GFI.org Store.

Structure and routine

All of the above is much more likely to be accomplished if you have established structure and routine.

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